I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I will be naked everywhere
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
