literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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