Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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