Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
