I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
