Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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