dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
