Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
