brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
