what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
