just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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