I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
