His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
