I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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