ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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