Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
