you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
