i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
