I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
