i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
