No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
