I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
areolas are like halos for boobs.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize