oh god the rape fog is back!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize