so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
