im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
