just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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