If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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