Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I have aggressive nipples.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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