Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
