The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
