But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she peed on how many people?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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