the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
