"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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