You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Alive.
So much puke
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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