I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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