I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
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