my mouth tastes like poor choices
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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