Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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