Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize