I like to think it a success when the cops are called
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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