I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
