Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
