The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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