I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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