She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
