so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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