marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
