he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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