Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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