I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
3 2 1 whiskey
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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