is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
