He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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