whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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