I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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