His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize