She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize