My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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