you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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