if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
