I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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