Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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